Speech that brings people together
Today, let one thing you say reconcile rather than divide.
- Read · about 2 minutes
And how is purity fourfold by way of speech?…They give up backbiting. They don’t repeat in one place what they heard in another so as to divide people against each other. Instead, they reconcile those who are divided and support those who are united, delighting in harmony, loving harmony, speaking words that promote harmony.They give up harsh speech. They speak in a way that’s mellow, pleasing to the ear, endearing, going to the heart, polite, and likable and agreeable to the people.They give up talking nonsense. Their words are timely, true, and meaningful, in line with the teaching and training.They say things at the right time which are valuable, reasonable, succinct, and beneficial.This is the fourfold purity by way of speech.AN 10.176 · “With Cunda” · tr. Bhikkhu Sujato (CC0)
From the text
The passage describes speech made pure in several ways: giving up backbiting and instead reconciling the divided and supporting the united; giving up harsh speech in favor of words that are mellow, polite, and go to the heart; and giving up nonsense in favor of words that are timely, true, meaningful, and beneficial.
In everyday life
The passage calls speech 'fourfold'; the first of the four, giving up lying, comes just before these lines, and this excerpt covers the other three. Each item has two halves. Something is given up, and something better takes its place. Backbiting is replaced not by silence but by actively mending. Harsh speech is replaced by words that are 'pleasing to the ear' and 'going to the heart'. Pointless chatter is replaced by saying what is true, at the right time, briefly. It is easy to hear guidance on speech as a list of things not to say; this text is more generous. It describes speech that reconciles people and promotes harmony. Today's sit with the breath is practice for the small gap you need before speaking. Use that gap once today: when you could pass along a complaint about someone, try instead to say something that helps two people understand each other.
- Sit · 3, 5 or 10 minutes
Breath Awareness
Sit comfortably upright, hands in your lap or on your knees. After reading a cue, you may close your eyes and rest with the breath until the next one appears.
- Live · during your day
When you feel the urge to repeat something unflattering about a person who is not present, hold it back for a moment. Say something that supports understanding instead, or say nothing.
- Reflect · this evening
Was there something today you chose not to pass along, and what did you say instead, if anything?
Answer on paper, or in the app’s journal, which stays on your iPhone.