Equals in four things
Today, bring one of the four qualities, faith, ethics, generosity, or wisdom, to someone close to you.
- Read · about 2 minutes
“Sir, ever since we were both young, and Nakula’s mother was given to me in marriage, I can’t recall betraying her even in thought, still less in deed.…“Householders, if wife and husband want to see each other in both this life and the next, they should be equals in faith, ethics, generosity, and wisdom.When both are faithful and bountiful,disciplined, living righteously,then wife and husbandsay nice things to each other.Their needs are amply satisfied,so they live at ease.AN 4.55 · “Equality (1st)” · tr. Bhikkhu Sujato (CC0)
From the text
Nakula's father says that since they were young he cannot recall betraying Nakula's mother even in thought. The reply is that a wife and husband who want to see each other in this life and the next should be equals in faith, ethics, generosity, and wisdom; such a couple say nice things to each other and live at ease.
In everyday life
'Householders' are people living an ordinary home life, and 'bountiful' means generous. The passage begins with two people who have been together since they were young, and a husband who says he cannot recall betraying his wife even in thought. The advice they receive is not about grand gestures. It is about being matched in four ordinary qualities: faith, the texts' word for trust in the teaching; ethics; generosity; and wisdom. Then comes the detail that makes it real: such a couple 'say nice things to each other'. Not everyone shares a home with a partner, and one way to take this is that the same four qualities steady any close bond, with a friend, a sibling, a housemate. Where the qualities are matched, kindness gets easier to say out loud. Today's sit is about arriving. Settle, then bring one close person to mind, and notice which quality you could meet in them today.
- Sit · 3, 5 or 10 minutes
Arriving and Settling
Sit upright on a chair or cushion, hands resting in your lap. Read each cue as it appears; between cues you may close your eyes or lower your gaze.
- Live · during your day
Choose one person you are close to, a friend, relative, or housemate. Notice one of the four qualities they show, and today meet it with the same quality, in one small act, without announcing it.
- Reflect · this evening
Which of the four qualities did you notice in someone close to you today, and what did you do with it?
Answer on paper, or in the app’s journal, which stays on your iPhone.