With Visākhā
Visākhā’s beloved granddaughter has died, and she comes to the Buddha in the middle of the day with wet clothes and hair. He asks whether she would like as many children and grandchildren as there are people in Sāvatthī. She would. He asks how many people die in Sāvatthī each day; she says the city is never without a death. Would her clothes and hair ever be dry, then? No. The Buddha says those with a hundred loved ones have a hundred sufferings, and those with none have none. His closing verse says sorrow arises because of those we love.
A note on this text. Told to a grandmother in fresh grief; the closing verse advises having no loved ones in the world at all, a hard line the text does not soften.
The full text
Heartfelt Sayings 8.8 · With Visākhā · translated by Bhikkhu Sujato · public domain (CC0) · about 2 min · on SuttaCentral
So I have heard. At one time the Buddha was staying near Sāvatthī in the stilt longhouse of Migāra’s mother in the Eastern Monastery. Now at that time the dear and beloved granddaughter of Visākhā, Migāra’s mother, had just passed away. Then, in the middle of the day, Visākhā with wet clothes and hair went to the Buddha, bowed, and sat down. The Buddha said to her,
“So, Visākhā, where are you coming from in the middle of the day with wet clothes and hair?” “Sir, my beloved granddaughter has just passed away. That’s why I came here in the middle of the day with wet clothes and hair.” “Visākhā, would you like as many children and grandchildren as there are people in the whole of Sāvatthī?” “I would, sir.”
“But Visākhā, how many people pass away each day in Sāvatthī?”“Every day, sir, there are ten people passing away in Sāvatthī.Or else there are nine,eight,seven,six,five,four,three,two,or at least one person who passes away every day in Sāvatthī.Sāvatthī is never without someone passing away.”
“What do you think, Visākhā? Would there ever be a time when your clothes and hair were not wet?” “No, sir. Enough, sir, with so many children and grandchildren.”
“Those who have a hundred loved ones, Visākhā, have a hundred sufferings. Those who have ninety loved ones, or eighty, seventy, sixty, fifty, forty, thirty, twenty, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, or one loved one have one suffering. Those who have no loved ones have no suffering. They are free of sorrow, stains, and anguish I say.”
Then, understanding this matter, on that occasion the Buddha expressed this heartfelt sentiment:
“All the sorrows and lamentationsand the countless forms of suffering in the worldoccur because of those that we love;without loved ones they do not occur.
That’s why those who have no loved onesat all in the worldare happy and free of grief.So aspiring to the sorrowless and stainless,have no loved ones in the world at all.”